Autism and fertility musings

Anna asked me if this week has scared me away from wanting children. Most certainly not! If I can do this, I can do anything. For the purpose of this blog I will call the child I am watching "Noodle".
Noodle and I have a special relationship, I guess you'd say. A love/hate relationship. Sometimes he doesn't like me, but he will do things for me that he won't do for others, like say "ooo" when I tell him to, put his shoes on, and get on the school bus without a fuss apparently. But when we but heads, we but heads. It has been an interesting week because as a babysitter I am here to keep him safe and let him have fun, but I can't take my ABA therapist hat off like I would if he weren't a child I do therapy with. Like the night before last. When I told him to eat dinner, and he ran to the living room, throwing himself on the floor, banging his head on the floor and scratching his face. I had to make him get up (despite the fact that he pulled handfuls of my hair out and clawed my face) and make him eat at least a little of his dinner. Because he has to do what I tell him. Whether he wants to or not (or has to communicate that he doesn't want to in a more appropriate manner) Noodle has had many of these incidents with me at the clinic where I work with him, but somehow, they are different at home. I will say they have, for the most part been in shorter duration.

On a happier note, every day when I have gotten him off of the bus this week, we have gone to the clinic (not his favorite place in the world by any means!) But yesterday, I didn't have to work. So when he got in the car, I handed him a soda and strand of beads and we went to target. When we got out of the car, he had the biggest smile I've ever seen, and gave me a huge hug (he's not a hugger, at all). Lol. we're going back today. And I made him his favorite cinnamon rolls for breakfast. (even though he's on a restricted calorie diet) Because, after all, I am the babysitter this week. I just happen to wear a therapist hat. :-)

Anna is coming to meet Noodle today. She has never met anyone with Autism. A 140lb 10yr old, with a developmental age of 18-22 months should give her a very interesting first look, I think. I also think that everyone should at least acquaint themselves (and their children) with a few children with different disabilities, #1 because their parents are deserving of our friendship, and #2 People in society really have no idea what it's like to be around people with special needs. And that needs to change! We need to accept people who are different from us, because after all, they are just different, not less. We can learn things from them.

Anna finds out Tuesday if she is having a boy or girl. I am not going to the ultra.sound with her. because I have to work (though honestly, the more she looks and acts pregnant the harder this is getting) So maybe, in some corner of my heart, I don't really want to go.

As for my cycle. I have no idea wtf is going on. Still spotting, it's been heavier, but there's been a major thermal shift. Since we've been at Noodle's house, sleeping on a tempur.pedic mattress. I'm not sure if it's responsible, or if I somehow O'd somehow. Idk. I guess time will tell.