23-24 weeks, my time in the hospital, the longest post ever

Today I am warm and cozy in my bed. Today's doctor appointment went well, finding my cervix well over 4 cm, and I also found out I passed my 3 hour glucose tolerance test. The boys are turning somersaults as I type, and my nursery is getting pretty full of stuff we need (my grandparents just brought over mattresses!) Today has been a good day, and for the most part I am happy. I needed to be happy (and take a vistiril, lol) before I told you about the scariest experience of my life.

Five weeks ago my mom picked me up to go to my doctor, we were, as always running late. I had remembered the time of the appointment wrong (by 15 minutes) and we were about 15 minutes late. When I got to the office the doctor had gone to deliver a baby, and all of the nurse practitioners were at lunch. They told me to come back that afternoon. I was feeling just a little better than I had been, so my mom and I went to visit her friend and look in a baby boutique while we waited. I probably only stood up for a grand total of ten minutes (something I look back on as being a blessing!) When we went back for my appointment, my doctor had gone to deliver another baby. By this time, my mom had to go pick my sister up from school, so I waited. I waited for at least an hour before they got me back. I planned to tell my doctor how I thought I was still anemic, and my blood pressure seemed to be going up despite my meds. However, when my doctor inserted the vag.inal probe for my regular cervix check I knew something was NOT right. What usually looked like a thin, long hair of a cervix disappeared into what looked like a funnel with an eyelash on the end. When the doctor pushed on my belly the eyelash disappeared. My doctor's face went a little white, as she explained it looked a little like I might be funneling, and wanted to get a better look. She sent me down the hall for the high tech ultrasound machine and technician. The tech confirmed what we suspected, my cervix had shortened dramatically, from 4.5 two weeks before to about 1.5, with funneling to .7. They instructed me to get dressed and go straight to labor and delivery, and that I would be having a cerclage placed the following day. I knew what all of this meant. I knew that at 23 weeks 2 days my babies were not ready to come into this world. And I knew that if it had not been for that doctors appointment, that's exactly what would've happened within the next few days.

Once at labor and delivery they hooked me up to all kinds of monitors. One of which showed that I was having pretty regular contractions that I didn't even feel. So they started and IV, gave me all kinds of meds, the names of which I don't even remember, including a shot or two of tordol in my tush (ouch). My peri came in and painted a grim picture. He said he wasn't sure a cerclage was my best option. That it was so early he couldn't guarantee results. That he wanted to do an amnio to make sure an infection wasn't causing the contractions, and that in a worst case scenario, I could quite possibly loose both babies I declined the amnio. He checked my cervix and found that I was less than 1cm dilated. He said he wanted to do another ultrasound the next day to make sure I had not shortened anymore, and wait until the following day to place a cerclage IF my contractions stopped, and things continued ok. He was the one who would do the surgery, so I just nodded numbly. On the way I had been thinking, a cerclage will fix this, it's great they found it in time, we're going to be fine. And here this doctor told me I might not get a cerclage, that in this situation he had seen cerclages NOT work, that I might be having my way too small babies within the next few days or if I was lucky weeks, that I would have to be on hospital bed rest until they came. I was terrified. Then my OB came (she is the most amazing woman!) she encouraged me that she thought a cerclage was warranted, that she would transfer me to another hospital and peri if need be, and that she would see me in the morning. She then gave orders for them to cath me. Which a student nurse placed, and which was every bit as traumatic as you would think a tube being stuck up your pee-hole would be. DJ arrived an hour or two after and we settled in for a long night, full of monitors beeping and nurses coming in and out to check the babies heartbeats (them pushing on my belly caused contractions) and then usually more shots or iv medications to stop the contractions. It was a loooong night. DJ had to leave at 7 the next morning and I was left alone with the sweetest nurse. I was finally allowed to eat a little. My perineonatologist's colleague came in to check on me and so did my doctor. Although I had had contractions the night before they both indicated if I didn't have regular ones that day, they would place the cerclage the next day. They gave me permission to eat (something I had not done since about 2 pm the previous day, very hard for a pregnant lady!!)

Eating made me sick to my stomach though, so I asked for medicine to help (apparently vomiting causes contractions). The nurse gave me some phenergen in my IV. Within 2 minutes I was in a daze that lasted for several hours. I could barely speak, that is not a drug I ever want to get again! During my daze my mom came and they decided to transfer me to a high-risk room with a nurse that only had two patients to look after. Even in my daze this sounded like a good thing to me. Little did I know how utterly incompetent that nurse would be! She came into to check on me probably two hours after I was transferred opening a package and saying "So did you already get your steroid shot, or are you ready for it?" I promptly told her "NO!" I had not had the shot, I was only 23 weeks pregnant, and was not in pre-term labor and therefore did not need to get the steroid shot (it's a shot that makes the babies lungs develop faster, usually given between 26 and 36 weeks of pregnancy if labor is imminent) Then she slips in that she has to do a fetal fibernactin test (something I had never heard of before this point) and that she would do that now (as she opens the package) she seems to just be chit-chatting, saying the reason they didn't give it the day before was because it was soooo important nothing be inserted in the vagi.na in the previous 24 hours as it was an important test, and that could affect the results. I am still out of it. She starts to put the cotton swab in me when my mom yells "Stop!" and tells the nurse I had only been there since 6 or 7 pm, and my doctor had done a pelvic exam (it was about 12pm at this time)! The nurse was like, oh, ok, nevermind. That evening my ob comes back at 6 to do an ultrasound. She tells the nurse to do the FFN test, and says "Wait, it's very important that I know exactly what time the pelvic exam was performed, what time does it say in the chart?" The nurse, without checking my chart (I bet she didn't ever check it!) said 6:15. UGGG. I'm pretty sure it wasn't until closer to 7:30, but whatever. So they do the test, do the ultrasound, which shows it hasn't shortened more, and leave me for the evening, saying I'll get my cerclage the next day! 15 minutes late the nurse comes in to change my iv bag (which had been empty for at least 15-30 minutes) In the middle of changing the bag she says "Oh, it's shift change, I'll be right back to finish this" and disappears. She never comes back. By the time the new nurse got around to me blood had backed way up in my iv and she had to flush it 3 or 4 times before she could even start a new bag. That night was full of shots, medicines and monitors too.

The next morning DJ had to leave to go to school at 6 am. He came back at 6:45 am, his teacher excused him since I was having surgery. I was then taken to pre-op (with he and my mom). They took some blood and the doctor came and explained the procedure and the anesthesiologist came to explain the anesthesia (my mom asked him if he used the drugs that he was in control of on himself, hahaha)and they took my back to surgery. The anesthesiologist then gave me the spinal and they put me into position. Position was upside down with my legs spread eagle. It was the most awful position to be in, especially with the bottom half of my body numb. I then noticed the window in the room, which was open and filled with the laughing faces of surgical interns that had to be around my age. I was soooooo mortified. Luckily one of the surgical nurses went and yelled at them and closed the window. Then my cerclage was performed. It was weird, I don;t know what all they did, but it felt like they were sewing and sewing. I was awake through the whole thing. At one point I could not breath, and I am quite sure my face turned purple. The anesthesiologist stayed by my head and talked to me the whole time. He was a nice guy. Coming out of the anesthesia was one of the weirdest feelings. It had not completely worn of when I went back to my room. My mom and hubby weren't there, because they had told them I would be in recovery for at least an hour. (I was there for 20 mins, have you noticed the theme of incompetence here?) I was in major pain when he came back and the ultrasound people came and gave me a vag.inal ultrasound. (talk about painful!) Then the pain got worse, it was a 10, the worst pain of my life. I cried and cried. Then my nurse gave me nubane and I was back in a drugged daze, but at least it didn't hurt so bad. I don't remember a lot after that, other than stages of pain and contractions, then stages of being doped up. And then the pain. I had the worst migraine ever the following day. They gave me a percocet. It did nothing. So my night nurse gave me 2 more percocet.... and vistiril.... and iv nubane (because then I was having contractions) and then ambien. All of this at the same time. I had just gotten my catheter out and it was the first night I was able to get up to go to the bathroom. I woke up in the middle of the night and asked her to unhook me from all the monitors. She did and even though I was on all those drugs, she sent me to the bathroom without assistance. And I fell. Of coarse I fell. And my mom yelled at the nurse, and the nurse blamed it on me. And I had more contractions. Those were the worst days. That was Tuesday-Friday.

Saturday I started to feel a little better, they finally got my headache to go away, and I got fewer drugs. I was still very dizzy from the anemia (I think my numbers were at 9) and I couldn't get up without assistance, but I was a little better. They seemed to to think I could go home Monday. I had contractions Sunday night. Monday came and it was clear my doctor did not plan to send me home that day. I cried pretty much all day because I was so sad. Tuesday she said maybe the next day, but my parents convinced me I hadn't been honest with her about how I was doing and probably needed to stay longer. With many tears and arguments, I conceded. My mom and dad came the next morning to support me and help me be honest with my doctor. She decided to wean me off the bp meds to help with the dizziness and even offered to give me PIO iron or a transfusion to help with the anemia. My new go home day was set at Friday if I did better, promised to stay in bed, and to use a bedside toilet at night because that was (and is) when the uncontrollable dizziness and falling occurred. They weaned me off the blood pressure medicine, and I was sent home Friday. Gosh, it seemed so much longer actually being there. It was ten days. Ten horrible, scary days. Each night filled with nurses coming in and out. So many contractions, and so much uncertainty. It is so good to be home. I feel so fortunate to have some freedom here at home! Still having contractions, still dizzy as all get out some days, and lately I have been having insane blood pressure. But, I am 28 weeks. I get to sleep in my own bed. My friends and family have provided us with things we need for the babies. And every day they stay inside me is 3-5 days less in the NICU. My pregnancy has been far from trouble free and ideal. But, after being in the hospital, and seeing how bad it could've been. Dizzy and on bedrest doesn't seem quite so bad. Praying we stay out of the hospital!!!!