I am pregnant.

I can't believe I just typed that. I really can't believe that, according to four pregnancy tests it's true. This is all God. I prayed and fasted and gave it to Him, and He gave me this baby. I pray that it is a baby that grows healthy and strong. At 3w3d, I know the chances of something going wrong between now and February. But I give those thoughts and worries to Him. I'm just going to relish the fact that I am pregnant. PREGNANT! I just can't believe it. Tonight I'm going to tell DH when he comes home. I hope he's as thrilled as I am. Pray for me and little bean ladies.

My Dr's office finally got my progesterone results back- 18.9 at 5dpo. I'm thinking that's pretty good. Go in for betas tomorrow and Saturday.

And to those of you who read my posts, and have not gotten your bfp's yet. I pray that you will soon. If you stop reading and commenting, I will totally 100% understand.

First picture is of me now, so that in 6-10 weeks I can look back and see how we've grown.

And second picture is my favorite BFP. The one I'll show hubby when he comes home tonight.

This is miserable.

7 dpo, my temps are inconclusive, and my symptoms are miserable! My bbs and back are killing me, I continue to be super hungry, and have cried 3-4 times in the past few days (Usually if not on bcps I might cry once per month) Off and on I have had ovary? pains. I can't tell if this is pms from hell or whether I should keep hoping. I hate over analyzing everything!!! Coffee smelled bad to me yesterday. DH, Anna, and my mom have all said "Maybe you're pg" but really truly. I don't think I am. I just want to POAS, see the negative, and move on. But.....alas I am only 5-7 dpo. I should wait for another week. Grrr. I just want to scream. And I think it's more clomid than the situation. In fact, I am blaming all my symptoms on clomid, from now on.

Well

No spotting today. That can only be a good thing. My boobs are killing me, and I am both super tired and very hungry. Too early, I know, but that's how I feel. And these temps? Well, they look to good to be true if you ask me. Praying, and waiting on the Lord.

The two week wait

I think, has ended before it started. I am on cd 18, and presumable 3dpo, as my temps have risen (and in today's case jumped) higher and higher each day. If I did indeed o on cd 15, DH and I *should* have caught it. We bd'd all but the day before (because he wasn't home)However, yesterday I had some watery brown-ish spotting, and today I had some bright red spotting. I'm not sure what it means, but every scenario I can think of for it is not good. If I were to make it through the entire 2ww, I suppose I would test on Father's day. But if I'm spotting already, and breaking out and having back pain, I'm thinking AF is well on her way. I really don't know at this point. Every time I feel like I'm getting somewhere my body says "HA! Had you fooled, have that" GO in for my p4 blood draw on Friday. Still didn't get and answer from the DR office about the progesterone, so I think as soon as the blood test is over I'm going to the vitamin store and buying some progesterone cream. The results won't be in for 4-5 days, so I'm going to use it just in case until I a) find out I don't need it b) find out I do need it and get a script or c) find out that my body is a very good actress and I never really o'd. Praying and hoping for a miracle bfp, but not getting my hopes up.

My chart

It seems that

The + ovulation test was for true. I tested like four times yesterday, and all but the morning one were also +. My chart is not looking too bad either. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2a74a1
:-)

My first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O! Well, at least my very first positive opk! I am soo sooo soooooo very excited. (Only would be more excited if hubby were home to bd to celebrate, but he comes home tonight, so i think we'll catch it)I put the test down, expecting it to be a - as always, and when I looked back, a lovely second line. Hoping it's not the only first this cycle :-) Anyway, thought I'd celebrate with a little FIRSTs blog entry.

First Memory:
Sitting in my car seat in my dad's little blue truck waiting for him to get in.
First nickname:
knot head- my dad called me that because I had really tangle-y hair

First School:
Pen.sacola Chris.tian Aca.demy (k-12 baby!)

First date:
6th grade, I went skating with my "bf" at a roller rink

First Car:
1997 Thunder.bird

First heart break:
John V. I dumped him, but my heart was broken at age 14. The first time I remember my heart actually hurting.
First Kiss:
My 17th birthday. DH and I were dating, he told me he loved me for the first time and kissed me in my driveway. Interestingly enough in about the same place my first memory took place.

First time:
Our wedding night.

First +opk: Today!!!!!!! Yay!

My poor beach.

I live on the gulf coast. You may or may not have heard about the oi.l spi.ll that is pumping thousands of gallons of oi.l into the Gulf of Mexico. A while back they said that it was supposed to be here, but never came, the wind changed or something. So we all got pretty hopeful it would just go away. But the weather has changed, the wind has shifted and today when I went to the beach, the beautiful white sand was brown and covered in tar balls. My heart is breaking. I have lived here all my life, and love nothing more than spending a day at the beach. I wanted to share this with my children. They say it will take decades to get rid of. My heart is broken.

As for my cycle, AF went away on cd12. Am feeling some weird pain on my left ovary today. Ovulation or a cyst? OPK's have all been negative. And DH is going away for the whole weekend starting tonight. Hoping if the O is coming it waits till Monday or Tuesday so that we can give it a good shot.